Letting Go

Here is another blog I wrote in 2006 while living in Lake Tahoe. It feels good to re-read it and realize I have made significant strides in my life that have lead to positive changes. Although I have hardly followed Christ as closely as I would have liked over the past 4 years, I have at times followed God's will and that has led me to a happier place. Since writing this blog I have moved to a town that is closer to family and friends, taken a job that I truly feel is my calling for a career, and met a woman that makes me happier than anyone else ever has. I have also found a church that I truly enjoy being a part of and can't wait to get more invovled in. The challenge now is to continue down the path Christ has for me and see where He takes me in another 4 years.

Here is what I wrote 4 years ago:

As I continue to meander through this world without accomplishing much I learn more and more about myself and life everyday. The problem is that I only learn about myself through struggles and not triumphs. The great David Feherty once said, "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." I also continue to realize how experiences from the past are preparing me for the future.

My current revalation and discovery is something that I have always known but always had incredible difficulty following. In order to be happy in life, one must be happy with nothing before you can be happy with everything. If I continue seeking pleasure from secular things, my happiness is limited to a short amount of time before I am right back where I started. This holds true for where I live, what my job is, who I am dating, and how well I play golf. I know it may sound ridiculous to group golf in with those major issues, but I learned through golf that the only way to play great golf is to not care about the outcome and play like you don't have care in the world. The same holds true for the other 3 topics. As much as I want to find the right place to live, a great job, and a wonderful wife right now, I know that if I only seek those things I will never find them. I must first be happy without any of them before everything will fall into place. This is very difficult for me because I have such a deep caring and passion for many things in life. Unfortunately, the more I want something like success in golf, a great job, or a girlfriend, the less likely I am to get that prize.

The underlying theme here is that I have to put my strength and trust in the Lord and understand that no matter how tough life can be at times, He has something better waiting for me if I will just trust Him. I have understood this many times, and acutally followed this for brief periods in my life, but unfortunately I always fall back on secular things to determine my happieness. Therefore, it is now my goal to serve God from this day forward like I know I always should have. I don't have any idea where this will take me in life, but I hope I can have the patience and wisdom to wait for God to show me His will. If I truly believe that Jesus is who He says He is, which I do, then it is time to follow His teachings and make a difference in this world. I am so fed up with trying to please myself and make myself happy, when I know that if I can focus on making God happy then I in turn will find true happieness.